Bleeding Hearts
by CrazyCowgirl101
Summary: Rose is a Fearie, a guardian of the night. Her parents both died when she was young and now she must face some of her worst fears ever; herself, the gypsies that are coming close, and her worst enemy the Abdul. She might even find love along the way!
1. Me

**Me **

I live a life that should not be mine at all. I am a Faerie, a guardian. By day I am Rose, a simple girl, but by night I am Gaia-the-Faerie. It happened the eve of my sixteenth birthday. Right there in front of my life long crush, I sprouted wings. They are not ugly, but I cried out in horror, pain and in sadness. Why me? I live in the shadowy depths of the Wood of Lights, in the heart of Romana. I live with my best friend, Yaffa, who is also one of my kind. So now I suppose it isn't all that bad, but how I wish I had someone as she does! She has Ormond! He is noble and brave and respectable!

Yaffa is really nice about it though. She is a good friend and if she invites him in she always asks me be with them. She says in time that I will find someone. She also says that I am lucky that my parents are dead, I can marry whomever I please. But this also makes me sad because I have no one to bless me, unless you count my uncle Orothro. Yaffa tells me that if Orothro will not give me the blessing, she will.

Back to what I started. I must have the blood in my veins, that is the only likely explanation. At exactly 1 a.m. I turn into a Faerie. It lasts until sunrise and occasionally longer, which is a sign that I am different than others. It hurts really bad most times, which is a sign that I am weak and inexperienced. My hair turns dark brown and curly, and my skin sparkles like diamonds. My wings are silver and are swirled with splashes of iridescent blue. I am much more pretty like this. I no longer have my ratty brown hair and tanned skin. My eyes are the only things that don't change they are green. The color of a carrot top or a slice of celery. They stay the same, a constant reminder that I am two and not one, as others are.

It is the Faerie's job to guard the Wood of Lights. We light lanterns and hang them in the trees on stormy nights so Travelers are not lost. Even more importantly we guard the Village of Lights. It is a small group of families who live in a giant clearing in the center of the Wood of Lights. We are to protect them from the Abdul, the Giant cats. They are servants of the darkness. They prey on humans, mostly children, but more than often adults will be attacked. Our other most important job is to make sure that the Village of Lights isn't found by anyone who has evil in their blood.


	2. Begining

**The beginning**

I walked across the town to the western fields and checked on the workers. Then I went back to my hut near the outskirts of the Village. Yaffa was there waiting for me. I sighed and sat at the table across from her. She touched my hand gently. "I dread night." I told her. She smiled sadly and nodded once.

"I know, as do I." was her reply. She stood and stretched her arms out. "Last night one of the Watchers spied a group of Gypsies. They are headed this way." Her tone was cautious, knowing that I had been raised to fear them. My mother had once been threatened by a gypsy. That is another story, though, one I am reluctant to tell. I stiffened in my seat. "Rose, you know that we will not let them hurt you. I, personally, don't think they are bad. I think that they are just trying to find their place in the world. They are just trying to live."

"It's not my fault that my mother was superstitious!" I grumbled. Yaffa knew I didn't

like to talk about it; she didn't press my lie.

"Rose, you have to get over your fear. I think us, as in you, I, and Ormond, should go meet them. We can easily overpower them if we need to."

"I won't go during the night! I'll be too exposed that way. If I do go, then it will have to be before sundown."

"Then we will go tonight. Go get your things, we leave in an hour."

"Why so soon?" I complained, but I went into the back room that I shared with Yaffa and grabbed some things. A lantern, a whistle, a horn, a knife (even though I'm not supposed to have it until I change) and a cloak. I met Yaffa back in the main room. Ormond was with her, holding her hand tightly. I looked away for a moment, a slow blush coming to my tanned skin. "Well,"

"I thought you didn't want to go,"

"I don't, but you are going to make me whether I want to or not, so we may as well get it over with."

"You don't sound scared." murmured Ormond.

"I am very good at disguising my fears. Would you want your enemies to find out that you're scared out of your mind?"

"Suppose not." he shook his head and we headed out. We wove in and out of the trees, sometimes following the path, other times not. It took us an hour (very slow, since at night we have wings and can fly or run very fast) to reach the edge of the Wood of the Lights. There was no one, much to my relief. We waited for half an hour and we were just about to leave when we heard wagon wheels turning in the distance. Over the hill came a group of Gypsy caravans. A few young children ran around the wagons, chasing each other and throwing stones. When they reached us, the wagons stopped and all was silent. Out of one of the wagons came a young man. He was half naked. His trousers were pin-striped red and brown. They fell to the middle of his shins and the edges were frayed and torn. His hair was dark brown and matched his warm eyes. His skin was brown, but not dark, like those from across the sea. He was an Indian. The last I knew no one had seen one in fifty years, not since the Downfall. He stepped up to us, the grass crunching lightly under his feet. Against my better judgment, I stepped back, my hands nervously fingering my dress. He watched curiously, but soon crossed his arms and frowned. "Are you Guardians?" he asked.

Yaffa looked at Ormond. He nodded, "Yes, yes we are. I'm sorry, but you will have to wait until night before you can enter." he said strongly. "My name is Ormond. This is Yaffa," She inclined her head lightly. "And this is Rose, or Gaia."

"It is nice to meet you. I am called Amir. This is my tribe; my people."

"Are you the leader?" Yaffa asked, her gentle yellow eyes glancing over him quickly.

"No, our leader has fallen ill and asked me to take his stead for the moment."

"Perhaps Rose can do something for him, she is very fluent in the study of healing and of herbs." Amir's eyes flickered to my face and I took another step back. _Why were they being so open with him? _"Rose, say hello."

"Hello," I muttered barely loud enough for him to hear. Amir grinned at me.

"Hello, maybe you will look at him later, tonight?"

"Maybe, but I am not sure." I managed to say. He frowned, looking worried.

"Of course she will look at him tonight. She will be here at a little past three, if it is not too late?" Ormond said loudly, mostly to me.

"No, that is not too late. I will meet you here then."

I nodded feebly. "You are not to go into the Wood at all." Ormond said. "We will know if you do. Until tonight, then." he bowed his head formally and backed into the Wood. "Well, was it that bad?"

"He kept looking at me." I mumbled.

"Well, you are pretty." Ormond said softly. I shook my head, dreading the night to come.

That night was painful. It hurt more than most other times to transform and by the end I was in tears. It took me an hour to transform and I walked slowly to the edge of the Wood. It was around three when I reached the edge. Ormond and Yaffa were already there waiting and talking to Amir. Another man stood next to him, listening to the conversations. Amir glanced up as I approached. He took in my wings, hair, and skin. His eyes were wide with fascination and I tried to ignore him as best I could. My eyes were still red and puffy. He noticed.

"Are you . . ."

"I'm fine." I said stiffly, indicating that I was_ not_ in any way _fine_. "Where is he?"

"In here," He led me to one of the smaller wagons where an old man with graying hair lay nestled among blankets. "He has a fever and he won't eat or drink."

"How long?" My fingers were shaking I was so nervous.

"Three days. Sure you're sure your fine?"

"I'm fine!" I snapped. "I'll need milkweed, rosemary, peppermint, and thyme. I need a bowl, water, and a spoon." I struggled not to let myself fall into my fear, but I was still shaking. He touched my hand lightly and I pulled away. "Don't touch me!" I knew my eyes were laced with fear, but there was nothing I could do about it, at least until I was out of the Gypsy camp. He leaped off the wagon, easily landing on his feet and hurried to another wagon. I touched the old man's brow with the back of my hand. His skin was on fire. Amir returned quickly and leaped back up. He was showing off a bit, but he didn't know that it was all for nothing. I took the supplies from him and poured some of the peppermint extract into the bowl. I stirred in water and thyme. Then I mashed up the Milkweed. collecting the white paste and adding it to the bowl. I sprinkled the rosemary on top and settled down to wait. Amir eyed me curiously.

"Does it hurt?"

"What?"

He motioned to my wings.

"I don't know what you are talking about. Feed him the paste every day for as long as it lasts. Come find me if it doesn't help. Add sugar if he complains about the taste. I must go." I left the wagon only to find that Yaffa and Ormond had gone and left me inside a living nightmare. I glanced around at the men who sat near fires talking and laughing. I hurried past them, hoping that once I was in the Wood I would be safe.

When I reached my favorite lookout spot, an old tree with thick branches that were saddle-like, I crawled up and cried. Suddenly my senses took over. Someone was coming. A man. He was barefoot, by the sound of it. I slid back up into the tallest branches, waiting, not trusting myself. "Rose –I mean, Gaia? Are you there?"

_No! It can't be! What is _he_ doing here?_ I thought desperately. I flattened myself into the tree. "Gaia, I can see you. Please come down, I swear I'm not going to hurt you." There was honesty in his voice, but what if I didn't go down? Would he come after me? I started sliding back down to the lowest branches. He was at the bottom of the tree watching. "I never got a chance to thank you."

I said nothing, but I didn't need to, my face said everything. I was afraid of him. He studied my face, "You know that I won't hurt you right?" He stepped up to the tree and swung up onto a branch. I flinched. "I just want to talk to you. And thank you. That man– he means a lot to me, to the whole tribe. He is my father. Say something, please."

"How do I know that I can trust you? How do I know that you will not spill my secrets?" I asked softly, lowering my eyes to look at the forest floor.

"You, like every other person, must learn to trust. With time you will find that I am not willing to hurt anyone, or anything!" The sudden change of his mood surprised me and I slid up a branch. "Sorry, you just frustrate me. I don't know why you are afraid of me, but I want you to trust me. I am _not_ a bad person."


	3. Him Three Days Later

**Him**

I couldn't understand why she didn't trust me. I may have looked menacing, but it's not my fault. I wanted to find out what causes her to fear me! It was driving me crazy. It made me shudder every time her eyes grew large and round with genuine fear. I told her there is nothing to be afraid of, but she wouldn't listen. Why?

She looked at me before sliding back up a branch. "Sorry, you just frustrate me. I don't know why you are afraid of me, but I do want you to trust me. I am _not_ a bad person."

She says nothing for a moment. "I must leave. I am needed elsewhere."

She stood, suddenly alert. "Someone comes. I must go. Do not follow me." She leaped of the tree landing lightly on her feet. Then she took off flying and disappeared over the trees. I shook my head sadly. No matter how hard I tried she wouldn't give in, she wouldn't trust me.

**Three Days Later **

I sat and rubbed my temples. The summer heat wasn't that bad inside the forest, but I had just come from gathering herbs and the sun had been beating down on me. When I got back to the hut I shared with Yaffa I collapsed onto my bed. My face was burning and what I needed at that moment was a cool glass of water from the well. I stood and grabbed a glass from a shelf in the main room. I stepped back outside and walked to the well. My heart almost stopped. Amir was there with a little boy. He carried two pails and the little boy carried one. I started to turn around, but he spotted me and waved me over. I walked slowly, hoping I could find a way to disappear, but I didn't. "Hi," I whispered, I was only being polite. The little boy giggled.

"Hi," Amir said back. "So, um, here," he stepped away from the well so I could raise the bucket and fill my clay cup. I filled it to the brim with cool water. Just as I put the cup to my lips and took a long and satisfying dink, the little boy raced around me and crashed into my legs. I fell forward, my chest landing on the hard rock edge of the well. "Oh god, um, are you okay?" I felt his hands on my arm, pulling me up. "Sorry about that. Devon's a lot stronger than he looks. Um, do you need anything?"

I laughed, a shaky, nervous laugh. "I am fine." I picked up the cup from the ground– luckily it hadn't broken. It was my favorite cup.

"Sorry. Again. Well, I should go."

I nodded and turned away. I heard his deep voice talking sternly to the little boy and I couldn't help but smile. I returned to the hut and sat on the porch. A few moments later I saw Amir coming down the path to the hut. He had a cup in his hand, a small pink daisy in the other and a book tucked under one arm.

"Hello," he started. "Here, Devon wanted me to bring you another cup of water since he spilled the other one." he paused to hand me the cup. I stood (feeling safer on my feet) and took it from his hand. "I also brought you a flower from my father and a book I thought you might enjoy." I took the book and opened the cover. A warm, dusty smell hit me head-on and I smiled lightly. But when I looked at the first page I looked away in embarrassment. "You can't read, can you?" I nodded my head. " Well, then I will have to read to you. You don't mind do you? I'll leave if you want me to."

"Um," I began, but his soft, patient look stopped me. I smiled shyly. Wow. He noticed.

"See, I told you." he sat on the top step and opened the book. He started reading, but I payed more attention to his voice and how smooth it was, than I did to the story. It was something about life before the downfall. I think it was then that I fell asleep.

When I woke, I was still on the porch. Amir was dozing, still on the step, the book open across his lap. I picked it up and closed the cover, placing it next to him on the wood. Then I went inside and sat at the table. After what seemed like hours, Amir opened the screen door and stepped inside. Now I was afraid again. That door was the only way out. What if he attacked me? He sighed. "Please, do not be afraid of me."

I jumped up and stepped back. "Maybe I should go," he said. His voice was hard, but I detected sadness in his voice. "I know you won't always be afraid of me, Rose or Gaia or whoever you are! I have the gift of the Sight and I know you will get over your fear, you just need to trust me!" Without another word he turned and left. Yaffa came out of the back room, a smug smile on her face.

"You like him."she stated.

"No, I don't. He's a Gypsy."

"I think you like him. By the way, how are you doing? I heard you've been having some problems lately. Anything you want to talk about?"

"No. Why does it hurt so much?"

She laughed bitterly. "I don't know why, but in a few years it will go away, stop hurting."

"A few Years!" I cried. "But–"

"Rose, there is nothing we can do about it. There is no medicine, no remedy, no potion to brew. It is just something we have to live with." she said quietly.

"Then why me? How am I any different from the others in town?"

"It runs in your blood. You can't ignore that."

I sighed.

That night I waited an hour after I trans-

formed to go the Gypsy camp which had been moved inside the forest. There were still men about, sitting on logs by fires, or smoking pipes. I saw empty bottles of wine and rum at their feet and knew that I wasn't exactly safe here. But before I could turn away one of the men called out to me.

"Where ya goin' sweetheart?" A ripple of drunk laughter found my ears. I took a step back. " Now, darlin' don be 'fraid." he called again. Another man shouted, "She's a sweet little thing. Come on over here, girl. We ain't gonna hurt ya."

I shook my head and took another step back. "Someone want her?" asked another man. His hoarse laugher floated to me easily. "I'll take her!" shouted an older man. I took another step back as one of the men stood. He walked over to me and leaned down. His breath smelled like stale rum. I winced and looked away. "Jus' one kiss, darlin'." I tried to run, but he grabbed my arm and pulled my face to his.

"Stop!" bellowed a voice from behind me. "What the 'ell do you think you are doing?" I heaved a sigh of relief. It was Amir. "Leave her alone, she's mine!"

"An what proof does ya have of that?" asked the man, still holding onto me.

"Let her go." he ordered. The man swung me around and shoved me at Amir. Just as I crashed into him, he brought his lips to mine and kissed me. I stiffened, smelling and tasting rum in his mouth, but I let him do his work. Then he pulled me away, into a more secluded area of the forest. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you– are you drunk as well?" I asked plucking up hidden courage. He shook his head.

"I had a few drinks, but no more than that. I can't afford to get drunk." he shrugged. "Not that it's fun, personally I don't like waking up with a large headache."

I laughed, but it was small and nervous, just like all my other laughs. "So, why did you want to see me?"

I looked at my feet. "Well? Come on, I won't laugh,"

"I didn't like you being mad at me, so I came to apologize." I mumbled. Despite his promise, he laughed. It was deep and loud and it scared the living daylights out of me, but I managed to stay where I was. He ruffled my hair gently. This time I did step back. Right into a large tree. I felt my wings crumple and tears came to my eyes. I bit my lip to stop from crying out, but that didn't work. I pulled away from the tree and tried to look over my shoulder, but I couldn't see them. "Oh God. Are you . . .?" he trailed off and spun me around so my back was to him and I felt his hands on my wings smoothing them out to their original shape. It hurt a lot, but I contained myself and only broke out crying once. "Is there anything you can take for the pain?"

"No, there is no medicine to help us." I murmured. "I will be fine, thank you." I bowed my head and stepped back (luckily I didn't hit the tree, again), touching my brow in thanks.

"What did you think of that kiss?" he asked. His eyes were playful and I knew he was just trying to put me on the spot, but I stepped back again. He sighed, playfulness gone. Instead his eyes became sad and he smiled grimly. "Go. I know you want to so go." But I didn't. I did the most rash thing I've ever done in my life.

"I liked it." I said quickly. He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "I liked it." I repeated. He crossed his arms over his broad chest. I tried again. "I liked it." He stepped closer.

"Don't move." His voice was soft. He reached out with one hand and put his hand on my cheek. Surprising himself and myself, I leaned into the hand, liking the feeling of the roughness on my cheek. He pulled me to his chest and held me, his arms wrapped around me in a barrier even I couldn't break. I listened to him breath and felt his chest rise and fall. Then I couldn't stand it. I pulled away. I saw anger flash through his eyes, but it didn't stay there long. " I liked it, a lot." I repeated. Then I turned and ran.


	4. Peaceful Times

**Peaceful Times **

The next few days were peaceful times. I was still afraid of Amir, but he understood when he had spent too much time with me. During the day we would sit in the tree or go out and find herbs together, while talking and laughing. At night we would meet at the tree, after I had transformed (I didn't want him to see me in that much pain), and talk some more. It was the slow season for travelers, except within a few weeks a circus would come through and then the usual group of soldiers, so there wasn't much for Yaffa, Ormond, the others, and I to do.

"What should I call you?" Amir asked one day as we sat perched in my tree. "Some call you Rose, some call you Gaia,"

I laughed. "Call me what you will. Rose is my human name, the name I had before I became a Faerie. Then when they gave me my ceremony I was given the name Gaia. I really don't care what I am called, unless it is insulting."

"Hm, how does Rose sound?"

"Very nice," I laughed.

"Okay, I've got another question. What is your favorite flower? Your favorite color? Your favorite things to do? Your lifelong dream?"

"Are you always so full of questions?"I demanded. He laughed. "My favorite flower is the Bleeding Heart." I replied softly. "It was my Father's favorite flower too. He had a garden full of them. 'Look, Little Rose, it has a secret.' He whispered to me one day. He told me that bleeding hearts are the greatest secret keepers in the world. Why are they heart shaped? I've always thought of the bleeding heart as a comfort, as knowledge that I am not the only one who is untruthful." I shook my head to clear it of the sad memories. "My favorite color is the color blue on my wings. How it glows and sparkles in the moonlight. It makes me miss my family, and my freedom." I paused. "I am sorry, I am filling you head with more questions than I have answered."

"No, Please, go on. It is very interesting."

"Very well. My favorite things to do are fish in the little brook over that way, sleep in the sun, and listen to–to–" I broke off, blushing.

"Yes?"

"Listen to you read." I blurted. "It comforts me, the sound of your voice. It reminds me of other times, when my father would read to me." I explained, ignoring his grin. "And my lifelong ambition is–was– to be able to read."

"Was?" Amir asked. I knew he was astonished.

"Well, I really don't have time anymore with the whole Faerie thing." I admitted.

"I have an idea." I looked at him and pretended to be worried. He swatted my head playfully. "No, really, it's a good idea, I promise." he said earnestly. "I can teach you to read! It can't be that hard!"

I sighed and shook my head. "I don't have time."

"Why not?" he demanded.

I sighed again. "I can't really tell you, but it is very important. It has something to do with the night. And who I am." He frowned. "I can't! It is a secret. Listen, I need to go. I'm going to try and figure some things out okay?"

"Fine!" he snapped. I recoiled easily and slid out of the tree. "Don't come looking for me!"

I turned around and gaped at him. "Amir,"

That was the first time I had ever called him by his name, to his face. He scowled. "Fine then. I guess I won't be seeing you."

It began that night. Yaffa and I were stationed on first watch at the front of the forest. We were seated on the ground staring ahead. Occasionally we would say something to each other, but we communicate better when we're silent. Suddenly Yaffa jumped up, her eyes growing wide and her nostrils flaring. "Gaia," she whispered, but she didn't need to say anything else, I was already on feet, sniffing the breeze. The smell stank like rotten fish. "You go, I think they smell us and are trying to sneak around." I nodded and dashed away. The sun was rising, my wings were gone, I was slowing down. I turned directions and headed for the Gypsy camp. I entered, no longer afraid for myself, but for the village. Amir came to my side, knowing my fear.

"I need a horse! Quickly! There isn't any time to lose!" I gasped. I doubled over, trying to catch my breath as Amir brought me a horse. There was no saddle, only a bridle.

"Rose, you hate horses." he said with a frown.

"I don't care." I jumped up onto the horse and dug my heels into it's sides. It dashed wildly away from the clearing and I urged it to go even faster. My first stop was the town. Alec (the boy I had a crush on when I turned into a Faerie) happened to be the first person I spotted. "Alec," I panted. "Get everyone ready, the Abdul are coming."

"What?! They're early! I–"

"It doesn't matter, get them ready. Tell Ormond!" I spurred the horse again and together we raced past the village and deep into the Wood of Lights. All the lanterns had been blown out and I saw no one. I spun around as I heard a growl from behind me. I faced an Abdul and it's rider. The Giant cat was nearly as big as large farm cow. It was black as night and matched it's rider. It's rider dressed in all black except for it's mask which was white. The horse backed up, whinnying nervously.

"Well, well, look who we have here. If it isn't Little Rose." taunted the rider. _How did he know my name? _I glowered at him and lunged. I tackled the man (his voice was too deep to be a woman's and nor did he have a woman's curves) to the ground. I struggled to get out from underneath him, but he wouldn't have any of that. He held down my shoulders and sat on top of me, looking me straight in the eyes. "May as well have a little fun while I'm here, right?" I struggled even harder, but he held me down. He bent his head over me and I could feel his breath on my face. It took all my strength not to vomit all over him, but thinking back on that, it might have been smart. Then he put his dirty lips over mine and kissed me. His tongue forced my lips open and moved freely. I kneed him between the legs and was satisfied when I heard him moan. I slid out from under him and made a mad dash for the horse, but the Abdul leaped in front of me. The man recovered and grabbed my leg, pulling me across the ground toward him. I punched him in the jaw and gasped in pain.

In one last attempt to overcome me, the man punched me with all his might in the stomach. I rolled over and retched. I coughed and felt something coming out of my mouth. It was blood. The man disappeared. And that stupid horse came over to me and sniffed my hair. "Go, get help!" I ordered. It didn't move. I sat up ignoring the pain and swatted it on the rear. "Go home!" the horse got the message and galloped back the way we had come. I fell back onto the ground, in too much pain to move.


	5. Pain

**Him**

I looked up as a black horse came running into camp. It looked a lot like the one I had given Rose an hour ago– it was the same one! I leaped up and jumped on it's back, riding to the village. In technical terms I wasn't allowed to go there, but they had to count this as an exception. I was immediately surrounded by a group of well-armed men. "Where is Rose?" I asked the closest man. "I lent her this horse this morning. The horse turned up half an hour ago with no rider. She rode in this direction, have you seen her? "

A man about my age, maybe a few years younger stepped forward. "Yeah, she told me to get the villagers ready and that the Abdul were on their way– oh, God!" The man put his hands over his eyes and started crying. "She went that way!" I looked curiously at the man.

"Abdul?"

"Just go! Hurry. It could be too late!" the man ordered. I followed his instructions and galloped off in the direction he had pointed, all the while wondering what the Abdul was. I looked at the ground and saw horse hoof-prints in the dirt. I followed them and after a few yards the horse stopped and refused to go further. I dismounted and continued to walk the trail. I almost wished I hadn't. I saw the bright blue of her dress lying on the grass and dirt at the bottom of an embankment. Looking at the dirt I saw the footprints of a man (judging by their size), Rose's footprints, and something that looked like giant cat prints. I hurried down the hill and crouched by her side. There was vomit and blood next to her. Her lips were stained with crimson. I knew this couldn't be good. "Rose! Rose! Can you hear me?" I called. She moaned and mumbled something. "Rose?!"

"Take . . . me . . . home." she rasped weakly. I wiped her mouth with the hem of my pants and tried to pick her up. She moaned. "Don't . . . belly . . hurts." I nodded and scooped her up.

"Horse!" I called. The dark horse came trotting and I lifted Rose onto it's back. I climbed on after careful not to touch her stomach. I wrapped one arm around her hips as best I could and spurred the horse.

**Pain**

I knew nothing after the Rider hit me except pain. Someone was calling my name. "Rose! Rose! Can you hear me?" The voice was familiar. "Help." I tried to say, but it wouldn't come out. "Rose?!" I knew that voice! It was Amir! "Take . . . me . . . home." I whispered weakly. I wasn't sure he had hear me until he wiped my mouth with something soft. I moaned. " Don't . . . belly . . . hurts." I couldn't see very well, but I saw his head bob up and down. Then he picked me up and put me on that stupid horse. I leaned my head against his chest, knowing that I had to not be afraid, just this once. I had complete faith in him.


	6. Him

**Him**

Rose slept for three days. She woke only to eat, drink, do her business, and vomit. She moaned and talked in her sleep. Mostly it was about the pain, but occasionally I would catch something about a man and a kiss. I assumed she was talking about me. I was allowed in with her three times a day. In the morning the afternoon and the evening. I held her hand and spoke to her. I finished reading her the book and I started another, knowing I would have to re-read it later on, but that didn't bother me.

She woke on the fifth morning. I was reading a passage from the book when I heard her say, "Amir, help."

I stood. "Yes, what?"

"Water . . ."

I raced out of the tent and to the well. I filled her favorite cup with water and hurried back. She drank it all greedily, like she hadn't drank in a thousand years. "Thanks." I nodded and leaned over her. I kissed her gently.

"What happened?"

"I have a broken rib and a lot of bruises. I need to bathe, but I don't think I can stand. I don't think I have ever felt so completely helpless." she sighed and rubbed her eyes. She looked at me and I think I appeared overeager because her eyes grew wide in that gesture of fear that I had grown so used to.

"Rose?" Her eyes flashed and it looked like she was watching something intently, like a vision or something. Then she turned to me and whispered something. "What?"

I leaned down. "If you love me, you'll go." her voice was shaking and I knew that her old fears had returned. "What? No, Rose? Are you okay? Don't be this way!" she turned away from me. " Rose!"

"Just go away."

It stung. I didn't think it would hurt as much as it did. _Why doesn't she trust me anymore? I didn't hurt her! I've done nothing but be kind to her. _I walked back to our camp. Everyone was in the progress of packing up. We were leaving. I had planned to stay and live with Rose, but now I wasn't sure. "Amir, where is Rose? I heard she is better." Father approached me and rested his hand on my arm.

"She doesn't want me anymore." My voice was hoarse. His grip tightened.

"If she knows what is good for her she will find you."

"You didn't spend every waking moment you could at her bedside!"

"No, I didn't. Get your things we leave in one hour." Tears stung my eyes as he walked away. _It's for the best! She doesn't need you any more. She is better off! _I told myself, but even that could not stop the hollow sob that filled my throat. I turned and went to work.


	7. Recovery

**Recovery**

I remained in a depressed state for the months after I sent Amir away. I filled all my time picking herbs, making new medicines, working in my new garden, and guarding the forest.

One day two months after Amir had left, I told Ormond's father, Orothro, that I wanted to leave the Village and Forest of Lights for a time and travel to the city. I wanted to go to the Library and see if I could find out any more about the Rider. Orothro approved my request and I set out with a small pack. Before I left, Alec gave me a jar with some leaves in it. " What is it?" I asked curiously.

" It is a plant that will stop your transformat- ion for as long as you need it. We gave it to you when you were sick. You'll still get some pain and the hair, but not the skin or the wings. If you want you can take one leaf with a sprig of thyme and keep one asset." he smiled and leaned in close. " I like your Faerie hair." I felt his lips touch my ear, but I stepped away.

"I will take that to heart, but I have to go. I will see you in one week." I touched my forehead, bowed and retreated down a path.

I had no idea how to get to the City. I didn't even know if there was still a library after the Downfall. I also didn't know how I was going to get information on the Rider if I couldn't read.

Fifty years had passed since the Downfall. Six young people, two from each race, were sent to the Changing Planes to defeat the Lord of the Dead, Kafik. The oldest was twenty-one and the youngest was thirteen. At first they were secretive and kept to themselves, but they soon found that that wouldn't work. They began to confide in each other, told each other everything. They fell in love and learned to trust, no matter how terrifying their past. It took them somewhere between a month and a half to two months to reach their final destination. When they did they found that one of their newer members was the son of Kafik and they thought him evil. But Kafik would have nothing to do with his son. The son had disgraced him by turning himself into a mortal.

The war lasted three days. It was quick and triumphant, but the victors were not the good guys. That brought on the Downfall. The countries fell into ruin. Then Kafik had simply disappeared and the world returned to normal as best that it could, never knowing when Kafik would show himself again.

It took me two days to reach the City. No one was about, but I was glad to find out that there was still a library left in the world. It was two stories tall and made out of the purest white and black marble. It is a wonder that it was still standing. Kafik raided most big cities of their value by taking gold, bronze, silver, and other rare or valuable metals from any place he could find it.

I stepped cautiously up the white steps and pulled open the giant wooden doors. The smell that hit me was better than the one I first smelled when Amir had given me the book. It smelled like dust and paper, but it also smelled sweet, like sugar. There was a big desk in the lobby. A man with dark brown hair and green eyes stood behind it. He wore a simple white robe and wore his hair to his waist. Pure joy radiated from his face as I stepped up to the desk. "How may I help you?"

"Do you have any books on the Abdul?" I asked softly, still in awe of the size of the library. The man stiffened and his gaze turned cold.

" Maybe you should look elsewhere."

"Please, sir!"

" I have the books, but I will not give them to you. They are not for someone of your age to be reading."

"Sir, please! I will do anything! I swear!" I begged.

"Anything? Can you even read?"

"No, I cannot read. Would you read them to me, or help me narrow down my search?" I pleaded gently.

"Anything you say? How about this?" he leaned forward and whispered in my ear. I blushed and nodded. "Well then. Follow this way. What brings you here? Most who don't know how to read will not even step inside a library." The man led me farther into a maze of book shelves. I didn't even know that there were this many books in the world. "What would you like to know?"

"I need to know where I can find them and," I paused racking my brain for another important question. "And their weaknesses."

He exhaled sharply. "Miss, I do not want to pry, but isn't that a little intense? Or severe I mean. I just can't see why you would want this information."

"I just need it, and as soon as possible."

"Well," he sighed and ran a hand over his head. "Do you have a place to stay? I suggest you find one if you don't."

"Um, do you have any suggestions? I'm from the country and I–I really don't know much about this."

"You can stay at my home. I have a spare bedroom and I live just down the street. This might take a while. I think you should go find some food and wait for a few hours. I'll come find you when I'm ready to leave."

I looked at my feet. "Another problem. I don't have any money."

"Oh, dear. Here," he handed me a bunch of silver coins. "That is all you'll get today. Meet me at the steps in two hours then I'll take you home."

I hurried out the doors and down the steps. The cobble stone road was falling apart; the bricks cracked and loosed. It stung my feet but I made no move to stop the pain. I walked at the side of the road until I came to a small pub. I stepped inside. It was different than the time I went to the Gypsy camp. The place was empty and it was bright. There were thick round tables and sturdy benches all over the room. There was a woman working behind the bar. She was cleaning out a stack of clay cups and plates. I went over and watched for a few moments. "Would you like any help?" I asked. The woman looked up. She had fiery red hair and bright blue eyes.

"I suppose, but I can only give you a copper an hour."

"That's all right, but first can I get some food?"

"Sure I'll tell the cook."

I ate a bowl of soup, a piece of bread, and a tomato. There was also warm and spicy cider, much to my joy. "You're not from around here are you?" The lady asked. Her name was Abby.

"No, I'm from the country. I came here to see the Library." I answered biting at the tomato. "I can't read, but I'm just glad to see it. I wasn't even sure that it still stood." Abby looked surprised. "We don't get much word where I live. We are afraid of the dangers."

She nodded and glanced at the floor. There were little droplets of blood falling from my feet. I paled and felt my stomach churning.

"Oh dear. Let me get my son. Jago! Jago! Come quickly!" she yelled into the back. A tall burly man stepped out of the room and walked towards us.

"Yes?"

"See if you can help Rose. She's from the country and cut her feet walking on that old road." He looked at me and his eyes were filled with intense anger. He shook his head. I was feeling weaker every second. I knew now that I wouldn't have any hopes of becoming a healer if I fainted at the sight of blood. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. "Jago!"

"If you go in my bag there should be a small pouch. Would you mind getting it for me?" I asked in a small voice. I breathed in again and heard Jago gasp. I opened one eye. He had the jar that Alec had given me in his hands. It had a label. And I was pretty much positive that he could read it. I knew one word of there–well two: _Faerie_ and _Guardian. _Why they would label such "Give it here!" I ordered. He glanced at me before handing it to Abby. She moaned softly. She looked at me and moaned again. I snatched the jar from her hands and was going to put it away, but Jago grabbed it. "Please! I don't mean you any harm. I'm not evil." I gasped. Looking outside I saw that the sun was beginning to set. I had two hours. "Just give it here please. I'll go away. I won't come back. I promise."

Abby came around to me and hugged me tightly. "We aren't afraid of you. We just need to know your story."

"But I can't tell you. I don't know if I can trust you. I know I can trust you, Abby, but I don't think I can trust Jago." I said.

"Tell us." said Jago softly. "You can trust me. I won't tell anyone. I swear." He touched my hand gently. "Come on."

I sighed. "My name is Gaia. I'm almost seventeen. My parents were killed by the Abdul when I was four. I stayed with my uncle, Orothro until I was old enough to move out with my friend Yaffa." I told them everything. I told them about meeting Amir and how he scared me and how we had spent hours talking and laughing together. I told them about the Abdul coming and how the Rider hit me. I told them how I sent Amir away after he took me home. "Then I decided I should learn more about this Rider so I came here."

Silence. Finally Jago spoke. "Why did you send Amir away?"

I closed my eyes. "The Rider took advantage of me." I answered quietly. "If I hadn't fought back it would have been more than just a kiss, but all the same I couldn't face Amir with that knowledge. It scared–scares me."

Jago growled in rage. He loomed over me. "What was his name?"

"I–I don't know. I don't even know what he looked like, but his eyes. They were black and green." I recalled. I closed my eyes against Jago. Before I knew what was happening. He had me in a bear hug. He almost squeezed the breath out of me, but the moment shattered when I let out a ear piercing wail. My two hours were up.

I began to shake and shudder. "Hide me!" I managed to say. Another blast of pain shot through me and I screamed, tears falling from my face. Jago picked me up and carried me up the back staircase and into a dark room.


	8. Mistakes

**Mistakes**

Jago sat with me holding my hand as I wailed and shouted. Then it was over. I hadn't taken the herb that Alec had given me. I had my wings, my senses, my skin, my hair–everything. Jago was fascinated. Not as fascinated as Amir had been, but he still looked on with awe. I looked away and curled into a ball on the floor. He touched my skin and my wings and my hair. I lay still wishing more than anything in the world that it was Amir who had hugged me and Amir who carried me upstairs and into the darkness. I wished that it was Amir who was exploring me as I lay curled into a little ball.

After a while Jago cradled me in his arms and sang to me. I cried. I cried long and hard. I wanted to go home. I wanted to see Amir, but I wanted to learn about the Rider. And I wanted to kill him.

When I woke in the morning I was on Jago's bed and his arms were wrapped protectively around me. Then I remembered that I had forgotten to go back to the library! The man, Goethe, wouldn't help me now. I couldn't remember what had happened the night before. I looked at Jago. _Did I sleep with him?_ I yawned and slipped out of Jago's grasp. He stirred and sat up. He looked at me as I perched on a chair watching, my brow creased with worry. "Nothing happened." he said. I frowned. "My word! What do you take me for? A scoundrel? I haven't known you but a day!"

"You still slept in the same bed that I did."

"You were having nightmares! Talking in your sleep. I was comforting you!"

I looked up alarmed. "What did I say?"

"You said something about a man and a kiss. I think it was about that Rider. You looked very scared and worried."

I let my tears fall. "I miss him so much! I shouldn't have sent him away! I was so afraid! Now I'm regretting it and I wish I had never come here! But I'm not giving up! I'm going to find that Rider and kill him!" I knew I was shaking. "Can you read?" I asked. He laughed. "Will you help me then? I can't read and I know that Goethe will not be able to help me all the time."

"You met Goethe already? Wow. Mum is making some breakfast if you want any. I'll just leave you to freshen up a bit." He laughed again and I blushed.

"I really don't need to, freshen up, I mean. I only brought one other dress and I'd like to keep it clean." I said. He turned in the doorway.

"Rose, you're all right."

I looked at the floor. "I don't mean to be rude or anything, but I would prefer to be called Gaia. That Rider might be here and if he hears my name I'll be deader than a squashed bug." Despite my eagerness to make the moment easier, he didn't laugh. "Sorry," I whispered weakly. He chuckled and left.

I went to the Library and found Goethe waiting patiently behind the desk. "Oh! Mr. Goethe! I'm so sorry I did not come back last evening. I ran into some . . . trouble."

"Abby told me, Gaia." he responded, smiling kindly. "I wish I could instead bear your pain."

I faltered. "How do you know Abby?"

"She is the step-sister of my late wife." he answered shortly. "Come, we have many things to do and only a few hours in which to do them. Jago should be here in a few moments. He comes and helps with organization and such." Goethe led me far into the maze of bookcases to a section that was filled with particularly old books. They were all hand written in the old language. I sighed and sank to the floor. He sat next to me and began pulling books off the shelf. I noticed they had been marked with a silver dot and when Goethe touched them it disappeared. I pretended not to notice. He opened the first one and skimmed the pages. "See this word?" he asked me and pointed to a word on the page. I nodded. "That is _Abdul_. This one is _weaknesses _and this was is _defenses_. Remember this. You can help us search."

I nodded and opened a book. It smelled a lot like the first one Amir had brought to me. The memories rushed back and I felt like I could feel Amir with me. I scanned the pages. Every time I found those three words between the two dots called periods, I told Goethe. Soon Jago joined us and he was much more successful. "Look!" he exclaimed at around noon right before we were going to stop and eat dinner. "The Abdul's only enemy is the Phoenix. I thought all the Phoenixes were killed during the War of Dreams."

"Maybe," proposed Goethe. "We should discuss this over some lunch. Let's go to the _Golden Phoenix _and eat. I have a few questions for Gaia that you and your mother might want to hear. I looked up panicked, but Jago reassured me with a smile.

"Uncle, you go ahead. I need to talk to Gaia, if she doesn't mind." Jago said quietly. I nodded and Goethe left us. "I'm really sorry, Gaia. I shouldn't have slept with you last night. I think I was just a little bit jealous."

I blinked. "Jealous, of who?"

"Amir." he muttered. "I let my heart get ahead of my mind and it wasn't very smart. I'm sorry."

I laughed. It was so different from the way I usually laughed. I almost stopped, but I couldn't. "Jago." I hugged him. " I'm sorry. I rushed in on your mother and you. I should have left."

"But you didn't. I'm glad." he leaned down and brushed my cheek with a small kiss. "I have learned now that you won't ever be able to let go of Amir."

I smiled. "If you were in love, you would understand."

He took my hand and we walked to the pub. Goethe sat at the counter, a mug and a meal in front of him. Abby stood behind washing the wood counter. She looked up and smiled. I dropped Jago's hand. I sat next to Goethe and watched Abby fix the meals. I turned to Goethe. "Well?"

He sighed. "Where shall I begin? Gaia do you remember anything about your parents? Anything at all?"

I didn't look up at him. "My father's name was Marc. My mother's name was Elena. My mother had black hair and olive colored skin. My father's hair was black and his skin was pale. There isn't much else except my father's favorite flower was the bleeding heart and my mother's favorite animal was the Meadow Lark."

"I don't know how to say this, my dear." Goethe said. He looked at Jago. "You tell her."

Jago came and rested his hands on my shoulders. "Gaia–Rose. I am your cousin, half cousin to be correct."

I gasped. "That means that Abby is my Aunt and Goethe–no that's impossible. No! My parents were killed thirteen years ago!" I said loudly and stubbornly.

"It's true, Rose." Goethe said quietly. He grabbed my hand and I shut my eyes. "Your mother died, and the Rider thought he killed me too. I went away to protect you. Until a few months ago you were safer than I had ever imagined.

"I've spent the last few years researching the Abdul." he added as though it was just a silly afterthought.

I sat up. "Then you know where they are?" I was hopeful; maybe my story would have a happy ending after all.

He nodded. "I've been planning an expedition for years now. I was this close to going a few weeks ago, but I had to hope that you would come and you did!" I threw my arms around him and hugged him. "Papa, we all missed you terribly! Orothro is leader now."

"I know, my sweet. I know."

I looked up at Abby. "I met you once, didn't I?" She nodded. "You were six, I think."

"Now I have one thing I want you to do, Gaia." said Goethe. "I want you to go home. You are in love and now that you know I'm alive, I pray that you will not go after the Abdul."

"Papa! I need to go! You know what he could have done to me!"

"I know. Then at least wait a week or two then meet me at the western edge, okay? I will be there if you need me."

"You won't come?"

"I will, when the time is right. I have a brother there that I have not seen in thirteen years. And friends as well."

"Okay. I will leave tomorrow." I hugged him once more.

That night Jago and I sat on the roof and talked. He wanted to know more about me and I wanted to know more about him. "So, are you really leaving then?" he asked. I nodded.

"Even though I've only been here two days I miss my adopted family. I miss Yaffa and Ormond and Orothro. I even miss that stupid horse that saved my life, even though I hate horses. I just need to go home."

"I'll miss you." he whispered hoarsely. I grabbed his hand.

"I'll miss you too. I'll miss the Library and Papa . . . Will you look after him for me? He won't stay in the village. It reminds him too much of the past."

"Of course I will." he whispered. He turned toward me. "I love you, Rose."

_What?_ "Um, Jago, this isn't right. I have Amir."

He sighed, frustrated. Then he pulled me into him and held me tightly. Despite my protests he wouldn't let me go. When I looked up he kissed me. I was too surprised. I let him. He rolled onto his back pulling me on top and suddenly _we _were kissing. His hands roamed and searched, but I pulled away before he could find the laces of my dress. He looked at me his eyes wild. _Why doesn't he regret this?_ I thought. "Jago! No! I love Amir! I'm sorry–"

"Gaia, can't you do anything impulsive for once in your life?! He won't find out!"

"I couldn't keep it from him, Jago. Good night!" I hurried down the stairs and into the room Abby had given me. I locked the door and crawled into the bed. Then remembering Goethe I unlocked the door and went down the stairs. I ran to him and hugged him tightly. He laughed. Then looked me over. I knew I was flushed. "Goodnight, Papa. I love you." I kissed his forehead and turned to Abby. I hugged her and kissed her cheek. I turned to go upstairs, but I knew I had to tell Papa. So I leaned down and whispered in his ear. He stiffened and I knew he would love to beat Jago, but he smiled and pushed me away. I went back up stairs. Jago was in my room. "Jago, I'm sorry." He scooped me up in his arms and kissed my neck. "Jago . . ." I started to cry. He stopped. "Please . . . I love . . . him." I managed between sobs. Jago sat me on the bed, kissed my cheek and left. I curled into a ball and fell asleep.


	9. The Return

**The Return**

I set out alone the next day. I carefully wrapped on of Alec's leaves around a sprig of Thyme and closed my eyes. I wished to keep my hair. I continued walking back the way I came. I thought about how mean I had been to Amir when all he wanted was a chance. I never gave him that chance. I walked on unaware that Goethe was only a mile behind me. I knew now that if Amir came back he would not want to see me again. He probably already found a new girl. I bit my lip and prayed this was not true. Why couldn't things be like they were during the War of Dreams? Two people know they were made for each other?

I made expert time. I reached the edge of the forest within two days. As I walked I hoped that everyone would be alright. I hoped no one had died, gotten sick or worse because I had not been there to save them. I walked on through the night. I didn't care that my feet still hurt from that street in the City.

When I reached the Village I saw guards posted around it. One of them stiffened as he heard me. It was Alec. He rushed to me and hugged me tightly. "Alec, is everyone okay?"

He shook his head slowly. "We lost Gray and Iso to a fever. We think the Abdul brought it. They came back. One was looking for you, but we told him you were dead."

"Who is sick? Is Ormond okay?"

"Ormond is fine, but Yaffa . . . she is going to have a baby. She is due anytime. Luckily she doesn't have the fever. If she did she and the baby wouldn't survive."

"What about Orothro?"

Alec bit his lip. "He's with the sick in that tent. Go see Yaffa first."

I walked away numbly. I stepped into our hut. Ormond sat at the table sleeping. A mug of cold tea in front of him. I put the kettle over the fire place and put more wood on. I felt the floor move as Ormond pushed away from the table. He hugged me tightly. " Oh, my cousin! I thought you'd never come back."

"I'm here. Where is Yaffa?"

"In your room. She's sleeping."

Yaffa was sleeping. She looked peaceful and herself except for the big bulge in her belly. I started to cry. Ormond hugged me again. "I knew I should not have left! Look! There is death all around me."

"Hush!" Ormond ordered. I obeyed.

"I'm going to see Uncle."

Orothro looked terrible, but he was glad to see me. "Did you find what you looked for?" he rasped. I nodded and got him some water. He drank it. "I'm glad. Rose, I am dying."

"No,"

"I am. There is nothing anyone can do. I want Ormond to be successor. Will you tell him?"

"Orothro, can you wait for a few hours? You cannot die yet. I love you uncle."

"Goodbye, Rose."

I jumped up and ran down the aisle. I crashed into someone. It was Ormond. But it didn't smell like Ormond. Hope filled my chest and I hugged the man as tight as I could. There was a laugh. I knew this laugh. "Amir!" I stood on my toes and kissed him lightly. He seemed surprised. I grabbed his hand. "Come with me!" I pulled him out of the tent. "Go and get a horse. Meet me at the western edge of the wood." I hurried away.

He was early. He saw me transform. He saw me cry out and clutch at the ground madly. I stood and dried my tears. There was no time to cry now. His face was pale. I kissed him gently. I was still crying. "You ride and I will run. Follow me." I dashed ahead and heard him behind me. I ran across the grass of the prairie. In the distance I saw a camp fire. That was my target. I barreled into the man's camp with Amir on my heels. "Papa!" I shouted. Amir looked so surprised I laughed. Goethe ran to me. "Miss me already?" he joked.

"Papa, I want you to meet someone." I pulled Amir forward and held his left hand tightly.

**Him**

I shook hands with Roses's father, Goethe. "Excuse me sir, but aren't you supposed to be dead? I mean, no offense."

Goethe laughed. "I lived. Amir I have heard so much about you from Rose. She could not stop talking about you."

"Is that so?" I asked glancing at Rose. She was blushing.

"Papa, the reason I came is Orothro. Some of the Villagers caught a fever. He is among them. He is dying. I want you to be able to see your brother." Goethe paled.

"Goethe, take my horse. I will walk back. Rose can go with you."

Goethe took the horse and rode off, but Rose stayed next to me. She looked at me. I looked at her wearily. "What?" she asked. My lips trembled.

"I thought you didn't love me."

Tears fell from her eyes. "Oh Amir. I do! I do. I love you with all of my heart."

"Then why did you send me away?"I asked tightly, through clenched teeth. I was angry with her. She held still.

"That rider that attacked me. He took advantage of me. It could and would have been more than a kiss, if I hadn't fought him. I was so afraid. I was so scared that if I told you, you would hate me. So I did the only thing I could to protect us." she said softly. "It was the worst thing I could ever imagine. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until you were gone. Be angry with me, hit me, I don't care. Just tell me that you still love me."

I sighed. She held back more tears. "I see." she said. "I knew you wouldn't love me after this. I knew it all along. Maybe I'll go back to the City–"

I picked her up easily and kissed her. She melted into me and kissed back. When we finally stopped I took a long look at her. She blushed.


End file.
